Beware the First Lady, Pt. 1

Since December 9, 1989, I’ve been constantly following my husband from church to church. My husband is a musician, a pianist. At first he was hired to play for weddings only, then funerals and finally the occasional special service or banquet at churches and other venues.
After several years, a lot of the churches started to contemplate hiring their musicians to play for church services, instead of relying on the “faithful church-going musician who doesn’t need compensation, because his reward will be from God when he goes to heaven.” Laughable!
Anyway, I had become aware that no matter what church our boats docked at for the moment, there began to be this familiar verbal stench in the air, which transcended from house to house. That being…“Beware the First Lady.” The first time I got wind of this phrase, I simply dismissed it as being a character attack of sorts, either based on jealousy of the First Lady or just a habitual gossiping saint. But, as I begin to ease myself into my new surroundings, I realized that it wasn’t just that one member, it began to resonate from several members.
I don’t remember the first year it happened, but I never took it literally. I just listened and was careful not to comment because I was the new kid on the block and the last thing I needed was to become the new gossiping kid on the block. Furthermore, from childhood, I am one of those kids, so to speak, that really did learn to be seen and not heard. I don’t like altercation, so I stayed in the background, no matter which church I attended. It was sort of a safety mechanism of sorts, after having been falsely accused often growing up in the church.
Now, back to the subject of first lady. The one thing that baffled me about the different ‘first ladies’ that I have come in contact with is, why they became such demanding, spoiled diva’s in the first place. Did they think that because of this new role, they have the right to be demanding? Did they think that we are all suppose to abide to their tantrums and reveling? That’s exactly what I witnessed. I didn’t witness a humbled servant, partnering with the Pastor’s vision. No, I saw seemingly position hungry women who wanted to control, manipulate and even frighten the congregation into subjection. Possibly knowing or believing all the while, that no one will have the audacity to challenge her authority because she is, ‘First Lady.’
I was told once, “…don’t ever cross the first lady because she could be your best friend or your worst enemy.” I think that is a very horrible reputation to have as a first lady. Don’t you?
Ok, enough of this; my objective in writing this piece is just to maybe provoke some thought in the heart of the ‘First Lady.’ Listen, just because you have this position of leadership, don’t forget that you are a servant to the people, the members, the congregation. To me, it is your role to help your husband grow a successful, fruitful and happy ministry. I’ve seen so many Pastors state in the church that he doesn’t know why his ministry isn’t growing as it should. He’s delivering the word of God, but his ministry isn’t as fruitful as he would like it to be.
I sit in my seat sometimes screaming within myself, as if trying to telepathically relay the message to the Pastor; “why don’t you try examining the woman in your house!” I wonder do Pastors ever consider that it could be the wife who is hindering the ministry. It might be worth looking into. I’ll pause here. I have so much to say on the subject, it would probably take a week to convey it all. In closing, I would like to say that I harbor no resentment against any First Lady I’ve come in contact with. I’m simply the musician’s wife that just happened to get more than an earful on all things church related; most of the time the subject was, “Beware the First Lady.”